Looking at some of my older notes, it is clear to me that one important desire of mine is that I want my moral values to be atleast somewhat timeless and placeless. Balance of power is a lot more timeless. As opposed to just enacting what people of my socioeconomic class and country and childhood in early 21st century with internet access think about morality. (Each of these factors shapes your morality a lot.)
One learning since then I've had is that morality gets slowly shaped over time, often due to experiences of intense suffering. It becomes a part of your identity. You can't change your entire moral system overnight.
So even if game theory says be extremely nice in situation X, and be extremely violent in situation Y, you as a human mind literally cannot be both people.
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