2026-08-21
original written in early 2026, consistently making edits since then
Date me
Disclaimer
Table of contents
- About me as a partner
- My photos
- Link to my personal website
- Hobbies and personal experiences
- My outlier personality traits
- About my ideal partner
- Mandatory criteria
- Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria
- Criteria I don't use when filtering people
- Some more notes that may or may not be relevant
- Contact me
- Referral system
About me as a partner
Note
- This section is significantly still a work in progress. I am unlikely to complete it soon.
My photos
top 5
more
- This has a lot of information on my personal life, feel free to scroll to what is relevant
Hobbies and personal experiences
Note
- In particular, I have received feedback from multiple people to emphasise my posts on my hobbies, and on emotional experiences, hence I've placed them here. I personally don't like hobbies being given this much prominence in a "date me" document, but I currently trust the judgment of the people who gave this feedback, over my own judgement.
Main
- Miscellaneous list of emotionally intense experiences of my life - If you want to understand some experiences that shaped me, at an emotional level
- Crossposting all the hobbies links from there:
- I am open to doing any hobby together, or being introduced to new hobbies. (For example, jamming together if you play an instrument, or playing board games, or similar.)
My outlier personality traits
- See also: My personality test results
- As per Big Five personality test, I am above 90 percentile on Conscientiousness and Openness to Experience.
- As per Ray Dalio personality test, I am above 90 percentile on Creativity, Adventurous, Independence and not Status-seeking.
- As per Ray Dalio personality test, I am 52 percentile Reliable. I think I am most reliable during emergencies but tend to avoid making promises if there is no emergency.
- My guess is I am above 90 percentile honest.
- My guess is I am above 75 percentile IQ.
- My guess is I am above 75 percentile on courage and protectiveness (of a potential partner).
About my ideal partner
I am looking for someone who satisfies following criteria:
Mandatory criteria
Note
- Most of these mandatory criteria are either common sense, or lessons I've learned the hard way.
Mandatory criteria
- You are a (cis) woman in age bracket 18-40. (For reference, I was born in 2001.)
- You are living in, or willing to shift to, a tier-1 city in India. As of 2026-06, I live in Bangalore.
- (Alternatively, should be willing to help me shift countries. There's significant probability I will shift cities soon, can't discuss the details here. I am aware that me fixing a city to live for many years will simplify things a lot here.)
- I ideally want a polyamorous long-term relationship. Otherwise, a short-term relationship
- You are intellectually curious
- You are not obese
- I am a capital A Atheist who worships at the altar of technological progress, if done safely. I am willing to die for my God. I am willing to kill for my God. I wish to spend (what might be) the last few years of my life worshipping in the temple of my God. I deeply value the pursuit of Knowledge and Power in order to further my goals. (Yes, this is metaphor but I think there is some truth to it.)
- (Ideal but not mandatory) I would like to marry someone who worships the same God I do. As in, you are also willing to go as far as I am, to defend the same civilisational ideal of safe technological progress.
- (Mandatory) You accept that I may end up in prison or dead as a result of my work. You accept that there may be an increased risk to you as well, for associating with me frequently.
- (Mandatory) You accept me though I will in rare circumstances use violence or threats of violence to protect myself or people I care about. (This could include protecting you, if and only if you want me to). Disagreeing with me over this is fine, not accepting me is not fine.
- (Mandatory) You don't require meeting me more than once a week. You understand that I have goals I wish to devote time to, and don't see this as competition for my attention.
- You are willing to grant me a high degree of freedom, including freedom to change my core worldview and resulting actions in the future. (This is vague and abstract, but I don't know how to make it less abstract yet.)
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria
Note
- If you match even half of the below criteria, you should consider yourself a good fit, atleast in theory. I don't have a very deep understanding of my own preferences so this list is low confidence guesses.
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria, based on previous experiences with dating
- You are highly independent yourself, or willing to move towards a position where you are eventually highly independent. This includes financially, emotionally, etc. I can help with this ofcourse.
- (Based on previous experience.)
- You are high on Openness to Experience.
- But also you understand I will not always be in for spontaneous plans in my current phase of life, because I have other priorities.
- (Based on previous experience.)
- You have a unique perspective on or appreciation for atleast one important aspect of life, which I currently lack.
- (Based on previous experience.)
- You are in a different profession from the ones I most frequently interact with by default (software/finance).
- (Based on previous experience.)
- You are a simple person.
- (Based on previous experience.)
- You also prefer Ask culture not Guess culture.
- I am fairly blunt. I can tone this down if requested, but only to some extent.
- (Based on previous experience, multiple women had an issue with this, it is possible you are different.)
- You are accepting of the fact I am often unhappy.
- I don't necessarily expect you to be a good listener for my problems (although it wouldn't hurt if you did). Often the easiest solution for me is to just spend time alone when I am unhappy, and meet you when I am doing better.
- I have tried very hard to fix my unhappiness over multiple years, but now I've shifted a bit towards just accepting it. I am hopeful I will fix this in the upcoming years, but I can't promise it.
- (Based on previous experience, multiple women had an issue with this, it is possible you are different.)
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria, based on my guesses about the future and/or only loosely related previous experiences
- You want kids at some point
- I don't have a strong opinion on this topic yet, but my weak opinion is I want kids some years later, once there is more clarity on what the world plans to do regarding artificial superintelligence and human genetic engineering.
- If you want kids with me, you should be atheist so we don't conflict over how to raise the kid. Otherwise, we could still date, but I will probably eventually have kids with another partner who is atheist
- You have growth mindset, not purely complacence/acceptance mindset.
- You have atleast one goal in life besides maximising hedonism, that you are actually serious about.
- You don't regularly consume any substances.
Criteria I don't use when filtering people
Criteria I don't use, based on previous experiences
- I am fine with a difference in socioeconomic class or level of education (as long as you are intellectually curious).
- (Based on previous experience.)
- I am fine with you having different lifestyle or spending habits from me.
- (Based on previous experience.)
- I am fine with you having different hobbies.
- (Based on previous experience.)
Criteria I don't use, based on my guesses about the future and/or only loosely related previous experiences
- I am fine with it if you are attractive to me but not like, extremely attractive.
- I think this tends to matters less once you fall in love. I do have a preference for more attractive women, but I am unlikely to reject someone just because they're not in the top 25 percentile of conventional beauty standards, for example.
- I am fine with you having physical or mental health issues.
- I prefer people with growth mindset here.
- I am fine with moderate differences in political opinion.
- I am fine with a large age gap in either direction (within legal limits).
On conflict and compromise
- Since I am ideally looking for a long-term relationship, my guess is the ability to resolve conflicts well will be really important.
- If we have a conflict for whatever reason, I will put in significant effort to find a compromise. I cannot guarantee we will find a compromise, however.
- In particular, if I'm put in an adverse situation where I'm forced to choose between my life mission (mentioned at the top of the document), and keeping my partner, I will pick the former.
- It is possible I continue to love you after we break apart. Sometimes that is the best outcome.
Some more notes that may or may not be relevant
Me trying to figure out how navigate value differences in relationships
Me trying to figure out why people value me
Why I am poly
- Why I am polyamorous - This post is messy. The really short version is I ideally don't want a short-term/casual relationship, I want to atleast aim for something long-term. (Whether we succeed or not is a different matter. I am aware that succeeding at finding something long-term could require a bunch of hit-and-trial with short-term.) Also, I don't want to precommit to having sex with only one person till I die, that just instinctively seems like a terrible idea to me.
Me trying to figure out my ideal partner
Why I want kids later on in life
- Weak opinion based on empirical evidence is that most (but not all) people who have kids don't counterfactually regret having them, and it gives them joy/meaning in life. I defer to views of people like Naval Ravikant and Paul Graham and Eliezer Yudkowsky here, atleast a little bit. I also find being around kids fun for limited constrained interaction but sometimes annoying in larger doses.
Contact me
Please reach out if you are interested.
Referral system
Please also reach out if you can connect me to someone who might be interested. (For instance, you can send them this post.)
- If you connect me to the right person, you will be doing me a huge favour, and I will make sure to repay the favour in whatever way you prefer. This could a favour in return, or a payment, or similar.
- In particular, if you want to be paid, I can pay you $3000 for connecting me to someone I stay in a relationship with for atleast 5 years, and $600 for connecting me to someone I stay in a relationship with for atleast 1 year.
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