The terror of being wrong, and gambling your self-esteem
Main
Gambling your self-esteem is terrifying.
Lots of people on lesswrong clearly disagree with my plan, and many won't provide good reasons for the same or engage with my reasons for what I'm doing.
The problem is I simultaneously think a lot of them are wrong, but also, I could be wrong too, and maybe someone there knows it?
I'm taking actions that only make sense if it turned out they were necessary, otherwise I will actually dislike myself as a person for taking them. That is a heavy price to pay. It could be irreversible.
On one hand, yes, I do think I want to going all-in in the next 5-10 years. There is no point in keeping a clean reputation for some hypothetical scenario 10 years later. Go all-in and fight now, or go home.
Some of these people on LW are not as all-in as I am.
Also, I seem to be wasting way too much time on this stuff.
I need to get to work.
I will learn more only by meeting people in-person to talk, or actually becoming a hacker and learning from reality.
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