In my room there is peace. When I go to the terrace I get to visualise how many people will be slaughtered if the worst case happens.
My P(doom) has gone up implicitly, I think I may need to write down my take on xrisk more properly.
It is helpful to remind myself that even in worst case, I think there is only 40% chance of ASI by 2035. There's still a significant chance we can still have normal life for another 10 years. I don't know what happens after 10 years though.
I don't know, I don't trust my probabilities that much. What if I'm wrong and it's actually 75%? Or 10%?
The Gates of Hades are the terrace of my building
Some feelings associated with some interactions I had with people, could be positive or negative, that I can't write about here for reasons of their privacy.
I think there's two competing heuristics I want to square:
Visualise people die whenever you meet them. This is truth and visualising the truth helps me interact with people better.
Check atleast once a day if I am at peace. Good judgement comes from peace. My Russia trip made me more peaceful. But also, because I was deliberately not using the first heuristic of reminding myself everyone will die, all the time.
It would be ideal if I can use both heuristics at the same time.
I think some people of upper class try to detach themselves from their feelings about what is happening. This instinctively seems like bad, like, running away from the truth just instinctively sounds bad to me. This is the whole "life is a game" mindset that many people in upper class, and also me very often, take.
The gates of Hades are the terrace of my building. I don't know why I wrote it a third time. Maybe it reminds me of those lame / weird poetry thingies from college. Actually maybe I shouldn't call it lame, I actually enjoyed a non-zero number of them and I know others I respect who enjoyed them a lot more than me.
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