this post is basically just describing type-2, and is part of what inspired it
2026-05-29
Maybe the solution to dating across political differences is to meet less often
Disclaimer
personal
target audience - strictly myself
Main
Title should be self-explanatory
My theory: A major reason value differences are a problem in marriages is because there are parts of you that the other person is unwilling or incapable of listening to.
In my personal experience, I am often too mad at the world to actually try to listen to people's emotions well. I end up distancing from them and meeting them less frequently as a result. Also, listening to them too much makes me less motivated to work on my own goals. It is ideal to meet at a time when you're doing relatively okay and not as mad at the world.
Probably all this straightforwardly transfers to a dating context as well? Why would it not?
I clearly still believe it is possible to love someone despite a political difference. You can love someone and yet be too angry to actually listen to what they have to they say. To be clear, I mean angry at something else such as angry at the world; I don't mean being angry at the partner themselves, that is much harder problem, and thankfully one I haven't faced.
Side Note
I still think being poly makes it much easier to negotiate stuff like this.
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