2026-05-31
Update
- Ideal: Polyamorous longterm relationship, wants kids but later, atheist, anti-ASI pro-Enlightenment ideology, literally willing to die to stop ASI just like I am
- Willing to settle for: Monogamous shortterm relationship, doesn't matter if they want kids, religious or atheist either is okay, their ideology doesn't matter as long as we don't meet too often and try to actually listen to each other when we do meet, they should also be genuinely okay with short-term and not pretending to.
This section is wrong as per the type-1/type-2/type-3 typology.
- In the type-1 versus type-2 versus type-3 typology, being anti-ASI and pro-Enlightenment is not sufficient to make someone a type-1. They still have to agree to the exact specific actions you are doing, otherwise they are still a type-2. Everyone listed in the "willing to settle for" is basically a type-2.
2026-05-29
Dating and political extremes, and I am willing to die over ASI risk
Disclaimer
- personal
- target audience - strictly myself
Main
- I was just reading about people on reddit talking about their opinions on dating across political differences, especially across political extremes.
- And I was just thinking, hypothetically if we did not meet very often, would I be okay dating a literal nazi, or a literal communist or a super conservative hindu, and so on.
- I don't know, I think being poly itself narrows the search space by a lot, a super conservative hindu is unlikely to agree to be poly for instance. I might be fine dating a literal nazi as long as we didn't meet that often and didn't discuss some topics. (This is theory, and I know practice is easier said than done.)
- Honestly I equally shit on most political positions lol, there are too many people for whom politics is an aesthetic rather than a mission they sacrifice their life to. I'm okay dating almost anyone who just has dumb aesthetic political positions.
- This is a good heuristic - If you are not willing to sacrifice your life for your political position, maybe you don't really have a political position but instead an aesthetic.
- I think I am okay dating anyone who just has an aesthetic like this, that is different from mine. But I am not sure, this is a very weak guess.
- The real challenge is when both of you are in fact willing to sacrifice your lives (and maybe even the lives of other people) for very different political positions.
- Important - whenever I do run the dating values transition survey, one question I have to ask people is whether they are in fact willing to sacrifice their life for their political position or not. My guess is that a lot of traditional religious people will answer yes, and a lot of liberals / communists / atheist conservatives / etc will answer no.
- If my guess is right, this means I am in fact one of the few atheists who is literally willing to die for their politics. This actually makes me kind of rare.
- Wait, holy shit, I am probably right, right? I am obviously not the only one, there have been people in history who were willing to die over Enlightenment values for instance.
- Lmao I now get why people call the ASI stuff a secular religion lol.
- Lmao next time I organise a protest (whenever it is), my poster should say "I am willing to die to stop superintelligence from being built by 2030."
- "Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." - Benjamin Franklin, 1789
Main 2
- Lol, I'm trying to think this through the other way round though. Imagine there were in fact hundreds of people around me (both men and women) who were in fact willing to die to stop ASI. Would I be dating outside of this community? Probably not, right? Like, it won't be a dealbreaker per se, it's just less efficient.
- I think atleast some political demographics are like this, people date within the demographic because it is easier, not because they have a hard line against dating outside of it.
- This means the more ambitious path for me is not to figure out how to tolerate a relationship with someone with different politics, the more ambitious path for me is to personally go convince hundreds of people that they should be willing to die to stop ASI, and then date one of these people. Lol. This still doesn't solve the value transition problem after you are already dating though, what if either person stops caring about the ASI risk stuff?
- Why am I so determined to permanently solve this problem? Why do I have an issue with just changing partners every few years? Many people do this and they seem, fine? Not ideal, but fine. I don't know, in the worst case yes I might just give up on solving this problem. But for now I want to first atleast make a proper attempt at solving it.
- Holy fuck, I am super distracted by this. Should I just officially declare a week or two off from work in order to solve this? Ugh
What are the generators of political beliefs?
- going back to the earlier topic of making someone feel seen/heard/understood/etc, the problem is not so much the final opinion itself as much as it is the generator of the opinion. Like, there is some cluster of emotions, then some reasoning chain, then the actual opinion. You can make someone feel seen if you understand the cluster of emotions, even if you finally disagree with the opinion.
- You need to distance or similar, iff you are unable to do this aspect of making people feel seen.
- Okay so the question is not "which political opinions make it hard for you to make the other person feel seen/heard/understood/etc" it is "which clusters of emotions could the other person have, such that it is hard for you to make them feel seen/heard/understood/etc"
- Wait I probably already have a classification system for emotions sitting in my notes somewhere, I will have to go hunt it down.
I was staring at this emotion wheel lol
- For so many of these emotions, my reaction is not that I don't understand it, my reaction is that it is stupid to feel this emotion in this context, this emotion doesn't actually serve your longer term goals.
- Basically I have low tolerance for lack of growth mindset, in myself or in other people. Like, I hold myself to this standard too, not just others. It is quite bad that some of my notes have commonalities with notes I wrote over a year ago. It means one full year of my life has gone and I still haven't fixed some of these issues.
- And imagine if my partner doesn't have any longterm goals, or they have longterm goals I disagree with, then what? What does it even mean to consider an emotion stupid versus not, when their goals themselves are stupid.
- Okay so then just, understand and move on? This feels so hollow.
Lmao I'm now trying to imagine having sex with my male friends lol
- Imagine I was in fact gay, and I would in fact find this pleasurable. Would I do it? I don't know it is a bit hard to run this thought experiment.
- I think I would at first have sex with like atleast 10 different people just for the experience. Once I'm bored of that though, and I'm more looking for someone longterm, then I don't actually know. It is not clear.
- Maybe I would then pick one person for short-term, but also keep an eye out for someone better who is actually aligned to my values more?
- Holy shit. Ugh. Logic checks out.
Okay so should I be doing the literal exact same thing with women?
- Find someone for a short-term relationship, but also keep an eye out for people who do match my values a lot (re: ASI risk, pro-Enlightenment, etc). And if I ever find someone like this, then partner with this person instead?
- This sounds dumb but maybe that actually works?
- Lol, there seems to be a big gap between who I ideally want to be with, and who I am willing to settle for, for a short time period.
- Ideal: Polyamorous longterm relationship, wants kids but later, atheist, anti-ASI pro-Enlightenment ideology, literally willing to die to stop ASI just like I am
- Willing to settle for: Monogamous shortterm relationship, doesn't matter if they want kids, religious or atheist either is okay, their ideology doesn't matter as long as we don't meet too often and try to actually listen to each other when we do meet, they should also be genuinely okay with short-term and not pretending to.
- To be completely honest, this actually checks out.
- It's just that now that I have actually identified what my ideal is, I don't want to waste time searching for anything that is not my ideal. But then part of me seems to have a problem with that, because the likely result is I just stay single some more years.
What if I go completely nuts and just persuade people?
- Like, what if I made it my part-time job to convince women here is why you should worship technology, and here is why you should be polyamorous, and here is why you should be willing to die for this, and so on?
- Lmao that would be hillarious. "I have brought all of you to this meetup because I want to fuck one of you."
Okay I googled "women in STEM" on reddit, US context ofcourse but yeah this is just sad. ugh
- Okay enough neurotic analysis for today, will get it to some other day. End of note
- Wait, one last point. I think there is a difference between "I work on XYZ because I enjoy it" (where XYZ could be software or chemistry or bio or whatever), and "I work on XYZ because this is the purpose of humanity." Like, there is a difference between a passion and a religion. I am religious about technology, and I can be religious even if I don't enjoy some subfields (I dislike most chemistry, for example).
I need more time to rant sorry.
- What kind of broken fucking civilisation have I been born into that in a country of 1.4 billion people, there are 20 people sitting in a group chat talking about the Singularity. What the actual fuck is that? What the fuck?
- I'm trying to figure out how to navigate such arbitrary constraints because the bigger picture is so fucking broken.
- What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?
- I almost want to say "you fuckers deserve to die" lol. But I don't know, I am not willing to go that far. I am willing to go pretty far, but not that far.
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