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2026-05-31

"Actually agree" versus "agree to disagree yet accept" versus "do not accept"

Disclaimer

• personal
• target audience - strictly myself

Main

• There are maybe three levels of how much you accept a person
  1. Actually agree - you actually agree with their worldview and actions. This is ideal. (A previous notes say all your epsilon-shifted gamma-shifted clones can "actually agree") I am willing to regularly interact with such people, and freely share motivation or advice or a listening ear. By regularly I mean every few days at max.
  2. Agree to disagree yet accept - With atleast some of my friends, this is the sort of working relationship I have. "Agree to disagree" about ASI risk, continue to accept them as friends, we both see where the other person is coming from and kind of tolerate each other. I don't meet such people too often because it is demotivating, but I would be willing to offer either advice or a listening ear when it was actually important. By not too often I mean once in few weeks. These people are also welcome to give advice, even demotivating advice, as long as we don't meet too often. I'll just look at the advice some weeks/months later. I am sometimes too unhappy or angry to offer a listening ear myself, in which case the answer is to simply delay the meeting until I am okay with offering a listening ear.
  • I think this bullet point also needs a subcategory of "agree to not care yet accept." Some people straight up don't give a shit what my worldview or actions are even after I've told them, and basically accept me anyway.
  3. Do not accept - With some people, either they fundamentally dislike me for choosing the life plan I've chosen, or I fundamentally dislike them for choosing the life plan they've chosen. Usually such friendships just break apart to be honest.
• My guess is it works exactly the same way for romantic relationships as it does for platonic?
  • The challenge with a value transition in life is that you need to be able to flexibly shift a person from 1 to 2, or 2 to 1, without ever shifting them to 3. And vice versa they also need to be okay with this and make similar decisions on their end.
  • "Long-term poly" versus "short-term" does not actually carve reality at the joints. 1 versus 2 carves reality at the joints way better.

I did it???? Problem solved? Holy shit I have been neurotically analysing this for so long. This was so simple.

I will look at this note tomorrow with fresh eyes before I am sure. I am sleepy now.

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