2026-03-10
Update
- See also - my older note on why I increasingly don't trust base rates.
- If most people are not getting benefits from an intervention and a few people are, I'm increasingly sympathetic to the hypothesis that those few people figured out something that everyone else didn't, as opposed to the hypothesis that those people innately have their minds wired differently.
- The base rate won't capture these outliers, and hence base rates by themselves are not a good judge of whether you should invest more time into looking for outlier good outcomes.
- Coming back to this note, maybe a few women (and men) have figured out how to enjoy lots of casual sex, but most of society has not. As opposed to, maybe there's something fundamentally different about how those people's brains are wired.
- I don't have enough raw data though (either first-hand, or anecdotal, or statistical) so this is just a hypothesis.
- I suspect one differentiator is just something like - actually caring? Like, some people can demonstrate within a short span of time that they actually care about the other person, and this makes sex more enjoyable, even if you know you're going to go separate ways soon. As opposed to, people who have sex because they think it's a social norm, or because they're trying to get the other person to like them, or because they're bored, or another reason.
- But again, no data so don't take any of my ideas here too seriously.
- I know many people have done surveys on thit stuff, I'm not bothered to go read and analyse now though.
2026-03-08
I'm frustrated with women who regret the casual sex they have
Disclaimer
- Quick Note
- mind sim - just read some of jacob falcovich's blog. also some women I've met in-person, can't share details for privacy reasons
Main
- In some of my earlier rants, I made comments on why women who want casual sex are all low-esteem and seeking validation and this may be due to parental issues.
- I was in a worse mood than now when I wrote that.
- Do I think lots of casual sex is optimal for literally zero women? I don't honestly know the answer to that. It seems like a very strong claim.
- I think I am mainly frustrated with women who want casual sex and they later regret it. Like, if you consistently engage in something you later claim to publicly claim to regret, it means you either lack growth mindset, or secretly like something about this anyway, or you have some deeper issue that is preventing you from growing, or so on.
- I just wish more people around me were serious about something, anything whatsoever.
- Just because you are serious about something doesn't mean I will engage with it, I have limited time to fix ASI risk, and I am not everyone's cup of tea. But atleast if you're serious about something, you might find someone else who values that. Could be in romantic context, but it doesn't strictly apply to just that.
P.S. If any woman is stuck in this trap and wants out, maybe I can listen. My problem is especially with people lacking self-awareness and growth mindset I think.
Side note
- I wonder if there's a way I can select for this. Like, select for intentionality basically. It doesn't even have to be in a dating context. Nearly every aspect of my life would improve if I could just delete all the unintentional people from my environment, and only have to search through what's left.
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