I will pay you if you find me a therapist or coach
Disclaimer
Quick Note
Main
I will pay you $1000 if you find me a therapist or executive coach or similar such that either a) I attend 15 1-hour sessions with them or b) I am confident they helped me make a major long-lasting improvement in my life
I don't know how to formally define "major life improvements." So I will use a proxy measurement, which is number of sessions attended. (I obviously care about actually improving my life far more than I care about number of sessions. It is important that the life improvement is permanent not temporary, and doesn't just go away the next time I encounter some major bad event in my life.)
It seems likely that if I think a therapist is wasting my time, I won't attend 15 sessions with them. My tolerance for people (including therapists) wasting my time has only gone down with time, so I think 15 sessions is a good enough bar to confirm they are not wasting my time.
You are also allowed to enrol yourself and claim the payment yourself, if you think you can provide me with important life improvements.
Since I am willing to pay you $1000 to refer me a therapist, you can guess I am also willing to pay in the ballpark of $1000 to the therapist itself.
Examples of a major life improvement
something that permanently shifts my self-reported life satisfaction averaged over a year from 4 out of 10, to 5 out of 10
something that helps me find atleast one relationship that lasts atleast 5 years, either platonic or romantic, such that I can confidently say this relationship improved my life
something that helps me raise $1M in funding, which I would have failed to do otherwise
something that completely shifts my life trajectory in a way I endorse, even 5 years later.
I have wasted atleast a hundred hours and multiple thousands of dollars on therapy already.
I think the average therapist is too non-violent for me to give a shit about their opinion on how to live life.
I think the average therapist is trained to hide their own values and worldview in a way that makes me trust them less.
If you find someone for me, it will probably not be an "average therapist" and it will probably be someone who can circumvent these failure modes somehow.
I don't care about the formal title or degree of a therapist, I care about actual insights they have.
That being said, I am more comfortable with the one hour video call format that therapists use, and I am less comfortable with anything that gives me the vibes that you are inviting me to your cult.
I can't formally define what a cult is, but an invitation to an activity that requires my trust without actually earning it first, indicates cult vibes to me.
Examples of such activities - having sex, doing a drug together, visiting a physically unsafe place, isolating from current social circle for a month or longer, meditating for a week or longer, etc
For adversarial nitpicky readers, I am not saying every group that has sex or does drugs is a cult. For that matter, I am not even saying that being a cult is always bad. I am saying that if I receive an out-of-the-blue invitation to have sex or do drugs or meditate for long hours, from a stranger, along with a vague promise of life improvement, this increases P(this is a cult, in a way that is bad for me) in my head.
I actually think formally defining what a cult is, is an interesting intellectual challenge, but that is best saved for some other post.
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